Two things can be true.
But I am very tired of my brain right now. I keep getting stuck in details. And shifting from one task to another is like turning a big ass ship – it takes so much effort. And where is my clarity?
Am I really supposed to share this struggle? It feels like all of it is struggle. Who would want to read it? I keep telling myself it is part of the journey. The middle part is messy. Messy action is how we move forward but it is freaking hard. Why is it so hard? When does it get easier?
Maybe that’s the thing – I have this expectation of it getting easier. Perhaps it wont. Perhaps I am just meant to keep regulating my nervous system and grow my capacity for uncomfortable.
I have always loved to learn. Learning is growing. And I been ok with that. But this is next level. This version of me that I am growing into – it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.